Repairing Emotional Armour

My brother died recently and it was the ultimate shock to my system.  Over the past five years our relationship had slowly become distant, to the point of only having one conversation with him in the past year. It was the penultimate conversation that tore a major rift between us.
Thankfully, in our last phone call, I got the chance to tell him that I loved him, no matter what…
Since he passed I’ve gone through many emotions. The experience of loss has been an extreme emotion.  And not just not having my brother around anymore, but also the loss of time with him over the five years we drifted apart – before that we were close, apart from the occasional tiff brothers and sisters have.
The other extreme emotion is the one of feeling loved.  I’m a lucky girl to have so many close family and friends that have been there for me during this time, chats around the kitchen table, a phone call, a text message, a beautifully written card, a home cooked meal and a glass of bubbles, thank you x
It’s been just over a month since he died and today I hit a milestone.
Today I woke up and thought ‘I can get through the day without crying’.
Today I wore mascara for the first time since it happened.
One small thing, like putting on mascara, might not sound enough to make you feel stronger, but that is the effect it had on me … bit by bit I’m repairing my emotional armour.
What makes you feel stronger when you’re down?

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