Dear Chris

I am floored.

I am reeling.What happened?

Remember Stevie? Remember how disturbed I’d been as witness to him dressed as Stevie Nicks? He was truly frightening in drag; blond wig and the fawn swede high-heeled boots he was so proud of. He’d been having a bad night until he blew a line of coke in the toilets at the Queen’s Ball.
We talked a lot about Stevie that night and how he died. Remember we had been thrown by his calculated subterfuge.  We thought his fog had lifted and he was pursuing his holiday planning with the manic fervour he was known for.
He never intended to travel.
We were only just talking about your holidays too. It had been so hard for you caring for, and then losing your folks, running your businesses, your farm, and just getting on.  You seemed in a good place. Like for
the first time in a long time, you were doing something for you.
You made such a tremendous mark in your time here. You know how much I respected your skills.  You were always so generous with your advice and encouragement.

Thank you for the loan of those cake containers! How on earth would I have transported one hundred fancy cupcakes to Amy and Andy’s wedding without you!  And you were so complimentary about
the pretty cake I saved for you. I was embarrassed.

OMG, your raspberry clouds! Richard and I were totally addicted to those. And when you took them off the menu you offered to make us our own personal supply! I just couldn’t.
I remember setting you up big time. There we were talking food and restaurants as was our want.  I loaded up that conversation and you fell right in and told me what you REALLY thought of a few
of Hobart’s finer restaurants. Hey I agreed with you. But I did take advantage of your drunkenness.
Your foodie legacy in Hobart: Mit Zitrone will never be forgotten, Choux Shop and of
course, Jackman.
I went passed my local today and I just couldn’t believe it was business as usual. I couldn’t bear to see people in there going about things as normal.
Put the closed sign up. Leave the ovens turned off. Lay flowers at the door.
I hate this is another casualty for the LGBTI community. And I’m thinking about the notion of PRIDE and tolerance, and how far we have to go. And I’m thinking that it’s another loss to our Aboriginal community too.
I’m angry.

I’m sad.I am so sorry.

Your amazing talent, generosity and humour, I will greatly miss.

6 thoughts on “Dear Chris

  1. Thanks for your blog today too. I loved what you said about Chris and I loved your links. I have updated the site with some as well. Good call. The black dog preys on most of us at some time and it's good to know where to go to talk. And let's bring R U Okay day forward. Let's check in with each other more often!
    Bless xxxxxx

  2. Skye or Living Loving Hobart,

    Hello my name is Lisa Murray I lived with Chris Jackman in Melbourne. We were good friends. I was trying to re-connect with him on Facebook today and had no hits so I went to google and I read an article in the newspaper about his death. I am so stunned and sad. I searched further for answers and I came across your blog and I was wondering if you can please fill me in about what happened to Chris. I am just so sad.

    He was an amazing person. I remember him coming out to me and his struggles finding a partner. I then moved away to the U.S. and lost contact with him but I always said he was the most creative and amazing person I had ever knew. I was just out to dinner with friends last night and was reminiscing about my youth with Chris and I was once again transported to the days when he used to make the most amazing picnics and we would load up the Morris and picnic on the banks of the Yarra with his old victrolla playing "When Irish Eyes are Smiling". Please what happened to him.

    You can reach me on lkmurraydesign@gmail.com

  3. Hi Skye, I don't know who you are but I'm sitting in a room in Melbourne with Stevie's seude boots, I'm not joking, and an unfinished letter to Chris. I was an old boyfriend and it was unresolved. The boots are spray-painted pink now and sitting in a box with the rest of Steven Rogers' drag outfit that he lent me years ago in the late 90's for reasons unbeknownst to me now. So he committed suicide too, going by your blog? Oh my god. I just Googled Chris out of curiosity and am devastated to find out he has passed. Just gutted, I don't know what to say. I was going to post this on your blog but the technology stuffed up then I noticed the Facebook 'likes' so I looked up your fb page and found this email address there. I would like to know what happened exactly and I mean, there are other people who I could find out from but you're welcome to if you like and it'd be nice to talk to someone who knew him. A piece of my heart has died with him. Thanks, Haden

  4. Thanks to Hayden for this email. He sent last December and today I rang him as he'd asked. It was great to talk about Chris and Stevie and to be able to connect with someone new through difficult memories. Remembering today xx

  5. Crazy Chicks has left a new comment on your post "Dear Chris Iam floored. Iam reeling. What happ…":

    I knew Chris….I didn't know this had happened till my sister told me. We were flat mates and worked together at Stephanie's when we were both oh so young. I was always going to tassie to say G'day. I'm so devastated by this knowledge…..please let me know what happened….

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